Pet Name: Intern
Owner: Detective
Theme / Type: Apocalyptic Gourix
Born: February 13, 2014

Battle Portal Stats

Level: 3
Hit Points: 15 / 15
Strength: 18
Defense: 1
Speed: 11
Intellect: 16
Misticpower: 2

Battles Won: 0
Battles Lost: 0

Attached Weapons

Books Read

Books Read: None

Exotic Foods Eaten

Foods Eaten: 65/1254 [ View Foods ]

Quotes & Night Vale (c) Commonplace Books

Cecil says To the family of intern Andrew WK- He was a brave internâ€¦although not very knowledgeable about fencing swords and their complete inability to cut human flesh, let alone librarian exoskeletons.

Cecil says Listeners, of course, anyone bitten by an antique becomes an antique themselves. Oh, intern Hector, if only there was something I could do for you!

Cecil says Because of the hatchet attack she survived today, Intern Maureen has resigned from radio... Oh, she wasn't hurt that badly, but Maureen went on and on about radio being a ''dangerous job'' and ''totally not worth the constant risk of death.'' I told her she makes it harder than it needs to be. She rolled her eyes, and packed up her desk. I miss her already. She had a good sense of humor.

Cecil says Oh, excuse me. Speaking of interns... Intern Jeremy had a recent run-in with the scorpions in the break room, and will be missed.

Cecil says ...Oh, I forgot. Jesus never returned from investigating the bottomless pit in the intern break room. To the family members and loved ones of Intern Jesus: Oh, well. You know, the usual. Sorry, I'm just distracted.

Cecil says Listeners, Maureen is gone! I hear no hum of jets, I- I see no intern, just... an open door. And an empty glass, and a spreading stain. To the family of Intern Maureen: She was a good intern, with a beautiful puppy, and a chatty neighbor. She will be missed.

Cecil says And amidst the sounds of bold trumpets, and melancholy cellos, and even the haunting call of a muted French horn, Vithya ascended to Heaven. To the family of Vithya, let me say that she was a very good intern, and while Angels are not real, we are certain she is in a better place - whatever that place might be. She has become a better thing - whatever that thing might be. Know that your daughter did not die in vain, and perhaps, given the tenuous reality of existence, she may not have died at all - for it's debatable whether any of us ever truly live.

Cecil says Breaking news: we have received confirmation that over a hundred children and adolescents have disappeared and are now presumed to be inside the Night Vale Public Library, and subject to the Summer Reading Program. Unfortunately, it is my sad duty to announce that this includes Intern Paolo... To the parents and family of Paolo, our hearts go out to you in this time of fear and uncertainty, as in all other times of fear and uncertainty, which is all of them, really. May you find comfort in the knowledge that, though your son may have been lost in a library, at least he, unlike many of his peers, actually went inside one of those at least once.

Cecil says Well, listeners. There's good news and bad news from the Whispering Forest. The bad news is that intern Richard - as we know him - is lost to us forever, as are the dozens of first responders, concerned citizens, and curious nature lovers who all went to the Whispering Forest today. To the family of Richard, let me say that I am terribly sorry for your loss. He was an excellent intern, and he will be missed. They share the soul of the Whispering Forest now, and we will have them, always. Or, at least however long trees live, which I think is fairly long. I'm not really sure. I had a hamster as a child, and it died in, like, two weeks, so meh, what do I know.

Cecil says Listeners, I have some bad news and some, uh, good news. Intern Dana is dead! But the other Dana is alive, and I don't know which is the original and which is the double.

Cecil says Also, Night Vale community radio intern Stacy died a couple of months ago, soon after our last mention of her. Our sympathies go to the loved ones of those who are lost, especially Stacy. Sorry that I didn't get around to telling you until now. That was totally my fault.

Cecil says ...Leland just now got vaporized by a strange red light emanating from the station entrance. To the family of Leland, we thank you for his service to the cause of community radio, and we join you in mourning his loss.

Cecil says ...To the parents of Chad the intern, we regret to inform you that your son was lost in the line of community radio duty, and that he will be missed, and never forgotten.

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Intern

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