Mistica Chronicles


Welcome to Issue 56
Created by The Mistic Pets Team

Aries

Duct tape some plastic over those air ducts and shut all the windows. The love sickness looks imminent in your near future, so be sure to take precautions against those love bugs!

Taurus

Remember: Friends don't let friends eat cooties for cash, no matter how delicious that Skeewi looks.

Gemini

In honor of the season, we have decided to give you your horoscope in conversation hearts this month: “OMG” “UR MEAN” “JERK” “JK” “XD”.

Cancer

The more candy you get your loved one this holiday, the happier they are, and the happier they are, the happier you are. I'm not just saying that because I just inherited a chocolate factory from my long lost uncle, either.

Leo

It would seem that the pet you just adopted from the pound has found his calling in opera. Now may be a good time to invest in soundproofing for your garage.

Virgo

Why spend so much money on chocolates and candy when you can just wait until after Infestation for all the real sales to start?

Libra

Now that the first major candy holiday of the year is here, you finally have a way to dispose of all that leftover Lanturnacht candy that you forgot to hand over to the circus last year.

Scorpio

Good news! Your chances of randomly bursting into flames while walking down the street seem just as low as they did back in April!

Sagittarius

Remember during this month of love that it's probably not a good idea to text next to a candy display seconds before they announce a sale on chocolate.

Capricorn

Romance is in the air, as you will soon discover when you realize that LuvBizzer isn't going anywhere but into your hair. Hats are your friend this month!

Aquarius

No matter how delicious it sounds at first, you'll soon realize that it's a bad idea to try to consume all that Infestation candy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner to get rid of it quicker.

Pisces

Remember, the best way to someone's heart is to ignore all advice from your friend who insists “Chicks dig scorpions!” whenever someone asks him for a gift idea.

Written By Fallout

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