Mistic Pets

Welcome to Issue 59
Created by The Mistic Pets Team

Ken Kratork Exclusive Interview: Pandoria
Written By Cas

Hello again, Mistica! It’s your favorite and most irresistibly good-looking reporter, Ken Kratork, here with another exclusive interview for my moderately good-looking readers! After the horror that was the Great Mistican Weather Crisis of 2014 ™, I’m sure that many Misticans have wondered what exactly was on Pandoria’s mind during the event. Well, luckily for you, when asked for an interview, she only made a handful of thinly veiled threats before agreeing to speak with me for the good of the Mistican public!

K: So, Pandoria, thank-you very much for joining us today!

P: Mm, my pleasure, Ken. Anything for my dear Misticans.

K: And the best-looking one of them is here to help you out with getting your thoughts out to the public. Alright, first question: Why did you accept the egg from your sister in the first place?

P: Well… while there is certainly some animosity between us, deep down in my heart I really want to believe that we can one day reconcile our differences and become friends. I guess my hope for bringing our family together overrode my rationality that day. I just wanted that to be a genuine gesture of friendship from her, you know?

K: Hm, yes. Though I’m sure some of our readers were at least hoping for a steamy catfight to break out….

P: …Excuse me?

K: Mm nothing, next question. How do you think your sister managed to create the egg in the first place?

P: Honestly? I have no idea. While the creatures did absorb my magic in order to hatch, I have no idea how she was even able to get that far in their creation in the first place. Not to sound mean or anything, but I’ve always been the most gifted of us when it comes to creation. I doubt she could create a decent meal, let alone a creature.

K: Oh, me-ow. Sounds like there’s some deep feelings of resentment going on here. Have you ever considered fighting out your differences in hand-to-hand combat in a mud pit?

P: …Ken, I’m warning you.

K: Okay, sorry. This next question was asked a lot by our readers – why do you have such a lousy television? It’s the twenty-first century! At least get past the Ricket-ears you’ve got there on top and get satellite or something.

P: Uh, wow, well, I almost never watch television. I only tune into local news channels so I can keep informed on what my Misticans are up to in the world. It’s hard keeping track of everything sometimes without it.

K: Yeah, you obviously have trouble keeping up with the times, too. But even then, I think I know what your favorite news show to watch is! You can’t get enough of MAN and this reporter’s glorious face, can you? It’s okay to want it, baby, 60% of the time every time, the women of Mistica are completely filled with desire for the Ken-man.

P: Um, no. Do you, uh, do you have any more questions, Mr. Kratork?

K: Oh yes, just one last one: are you single?

P:… that’s it, I’m turning you into a frog.

K: Wait, b- *ribbit ribbit ribbit ribbit*

Ribbit ribbit, ribbit ribbit ribbit ribbit! *ha ha* Ribbet ribbet, ribbet ribbet ribbet!

Comments

This article does not have any comments.

Go Back to Articles

Go Back To Issue Overview