Mistic Pets

Welcome to Issue 58
Created by The Mistic Pets Team

Evil Snowman Threatens to Return Next Winter
Written By Fallout

They thought it would be magical to use a tasty carrot to complete their snowman. The village children gathered around, their hearts full of whimsy and joy, and rolled a snowman so perfectly round that he would be the envy of snowmen everywhere, before decorating him with a scarf and hat. Unfortunately for everyone involved, tasty carrots are really hard to get ahold of and they ended up using a creepy potato instead. The resulting abomination was a being so horrible that merely speaking of its deeds runs the risk of making a random baby somewhere begin to cry.

Among the snowman's many crimes, he is said to have thrown snowballs at cars, frozen sidewalks in high traffic areas, buried cars and parking spaces just moments before residents leave for or return from work, and sent out copious amounts of spam mail signed from “teh ebil snowmanz”. Residents looked forward to the springtime and the resulting warmer months with hopes of ridding themselves of the snowman menace and rewards were offered for reported sightings and evidence of the first robi of spring.

As the temperatures finally rose and the remaining snows of winter began to drip away however, the evil snowman made sure to let the townspeople know that they couldn't get rid of him that easily. “This warm weather is not the end!” he shouted from atop the same hilltop where he was born. “Next winter your children will just make another snowman and I will be back!” His evil laughter was quickly interrupted by an angry mob wielding hairdryers and blowtorches that quickly melted him into a gurgling puddle.

Following the defeat of the snowman, the mayor promptly passed a law forbidding the creation of snowmen within the town's boundaries to prevent his prophetic return and the creepy potato that once served as the snowman's nose was donated to Spooky Creations for use as an ingredient.

Just in case any laws should be broken, the local police sent out an emergency snow-melting squad armed with road salt and flamethrowers to get rid of the remaining snow, lest any children be weak to temptation. “Let's see him try to come back now!” one of the officers said triumphantly as he set an icy bush ablaze.

It remains to be seen whether the snowman's prediction of his return will ring true. One can only hope that the precautions taken will be enough to keep us from witnessing the resurrection of this menace.

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