Mistic Pets

Welcome to Issue 52
Created by The Mistic Pets Team

Forgotten Lanturnacht Candy Terrorizes Trick-or-Treaters
Written By Fallout

It happens every year at Lanturnacht time: young pets dressed up as vampires, ghosts, and whatever reality TV stars are in at the time go door to door begging for free sugar stuffs which they then either devour until they get sick and throw up or turn in to the circus for free stuff so it can then be devoured by circus staff until they get sick and throw up. This year, however, something different occurred...

Last year's Lanturnacht candy, angry at having been shoved under beds and forgotten or dropped on sidewalks and left behind while their sugary brothers and sisters achieved their dreams of being eaten and putting children into comas, banded together with their fallen kin and attacked the very children that had once forgotten them. The new candy trembled and hid from their wrath, too afraid of retribution to help stop the invasion.

“It was like a giant candy wave!” one young Vix in a cowboy costume recounted. “It rose from the gutter where I guess it had been sitting from the years past and jumped on me. Next thing I knew I was running home to my mom with my mouth glued shut from old candy corns and I had gum in my fur!”

Emergency crews responded to many odd reports of gummy octopi crawling up legs, cat licorice chasing dogs, jelly brains oozing down the sidewalk with young pets suspended inside them like fruity gelatin, bat gummies getting tangled up in hair, finger candies poking little ones in the eyes, and ghoul suckers haunting children who just wanted to get some kitty taffy and witch hat pops from the houses on the block. One young pet recalls some hardened gummy maggots wriggling their way into her candy bucket and then pelting her in the face with bubblegum when she tried to check what'd she gotten.

Eventually it was discovered that the candy's biggest weakness was getting eaten and everyone went to work chewing up every last piece of old taffy and chocolate covered roachie bugs. Once the ordeal was over, one child wearing an Ostara bunny costume was seen standing triumphantly on a mountain of candy wrappers with a lollypop stick in each hand and a mouthful of multicolored goop drinks. There were many stomachaches and cavities to be found. Injuries were treated on site by responding dentists and doting parents.

“I think we've all learned a valuable lesson from all this,” declared Officer Coppa. “Incinerate all leftover Lanturnacht candy by New Year.”

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