Mistic Pets

Welcome to Issue 43
Created by The Mistic Pets Team

Ask the Moone: January '13 Edition
Written By Moon

If you haven't met me yet, my name is Moone the Answer Braenon, Mistica's own help columnist. Love got you down? Life smacked you a few times with events beyond your control? I can help! Well, help most of the time anyway. If you would like to be included in my column, message me or use the site mail.

The names have been changed, because who would admit to half this stuff?


Dear Moone,
I have a problem and that problem is food! I can't help myself! I have emergency stashes of goodies everywhere: in my sock drawer, in my coat closet, even the mail box just in case I get hungry when the mail comes. Erika has thrown me out of her shop for licking the glass display case. Kandie greets me at the door with “No!” and then shuts off the lights and locks the door. I can daydream for hours while standing outside Flaming Treats. When I weigh myself the scale says,”One at a time!” Without some help I am afraid that I will wake one morning to find small planets orbiting my belt line. What can I do?
Signed, Hungry Man

Dear Hungry,
Put down the fork! Other then that? A big dab of Alchemical Glue on your lips every morning might help too. I had an Uncle that swore by sucking on a rock as a dietary aide. The problem with that was he would forget and swallow the rock sometimes. After 10 years of sucking on rocks, he fell in the river one day and sank straight to the bottom. I didn't say he was smart, I said he was my Uncle.
Sincerely, Moone~


Dear Moone,
I can't sleep at night; my legs want to run! I twitch, I toss, I turn! From one side of the bed to the other I roll, I fight my pillow, I chew the sheets, I throw the blankets. What should I do?
From, Sleepless in Jumboyo

Dear Sleepless,
You are suffering from R.L.S. (really lousy sleep). Have you tried insomnia? I hear that works great!
Insincerely, Moone~


Dear Moone,
I wouldn't say that I tell lies; I would say that I'm flexible with the truth. Is that actually lying? I mean, sometimes lying is a good idea, right? Like when Volcan asks if his nails are too long? And what if the lying is for a good cause? Is that bad? Doesn't all the fibbing just mean that I am a creative reality entrepreneur?
Signed, Trufless

Dear Trufless,
I see nothing wrong with bending the truth a little or a lot. I mean after all, it's not like it's a matter of honor or anything. In fact everyone should make a habit of lying – erm, being a creative reality entrepreneur.
Sincerely, Moone~
PS. I'm lying

I am always looking for queries to include in The “Ask the Moone” column. Just remember, you never know when I might throw a little CS item your way for participation.

Comments

Written By RuthieRox

These are fun to read. Keep them coming.

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