Mistic Pets

Welcome to Issue 39
Created by The Mistic Pets Team

Ask the Moone: September '12
Written By Valkyrie

Allow me to reintroduce Mistic's own help columnist. Whether your deadbeat boyfriend is bringing you down or your mother is endlessly embarrassing you, Moone is ready, willing and able to provide you with creative solutions.


We find Moone perched on a window seat, gazing out at the slowly changing season. One pale arm is wrapped around her bent knees, holding them to her chest. The other arm is extended far enough for her to toy with the chipped handle of her coffee mug. She gestures vaguely at her desk when asked where the Chronicles article is.

You find the envelope amidst an odd collection of brick-a-brac. Different brands of mints are scattered everywhere along with graham cracker crumbs and four empty tubes of toothpaste. Deciding not to ask, you make a hasty exit.

~*~*~*~


From Hurricane we heard:
Dear Moone,
Do ChocoSheep taste like chocolate?

Dear Hurricane,
I chased one of the little walleyed buggers down, squished it between two graham crackers with a big marshmallow and the answer is... drum-roll please: No, they do not. As a matter of fact they taste a lot like radishes, the taste lingers for days. Not to mention how attractive your breath becomes. I may never date again.
Sincerely
Moone~


black_shadow asked:
Dear Moone,
I often find myself wondering what would happen in the event that Daydream and Nightmare creatures - Imps and Sprites included – switched personalities for a day. What do you think would happen?


Dear black_shadow,
I believe that it would result in a massive breakdown unlike anything that Mistic has ever seen. To give my theory a try, I captured an Imp, had Jahzara hypnotize him, then painted his nails a beautiful shade of peach and wrestled him into a tu-tu, capping off the ensemble with Rainhorn fuzzy slippers. We were unsuccessful in changing his basic nature; upon seeing his reflection he erupted into howls that could be heard all the way to the Diamond Glacier Domain.
He lives under my desk now...
Sincerely
Moone~
P.S. If you are interested in adopting a gently used Imp, please send me a message asap.


Dax the Noctornal Gurahdi said:
Dear Moone,
I am thinking about becoming a vegetarian, especially since Shebari pointed out that we don't know where Volcan Steaks come from. What's your opinion?


Dear Dax,
I, myself am vegetarian... Or, rather I was until that unfortunate event with the Chocosheep. Whatever floats your special little boat my dear, is my opinion.
Then again, if we weren't supposed to eat meat, why are cows so easy to catch?
Sincerely
Moone
P.S.
Volcan isn't telling me anything...


Puredream asked:
I come to you seeking love advice. Will my darling Kartork, Deatheater, ever open himself up to love and happiness?


Dear Puredream,
Sneaking a Cootie or Love bug into his shoes may be the answer. A few good bites will have him singing a different tune in short order. In fact I myself was bitten once and became convinced that a certain Mandoran was destined to be my love beast forever and ever. I ate a grape sucker though and came to my senses.
Sincerely
Moone~


Deatheater: Will Puredream ever stop trying to set me up with every reptile pet that crosses her path?


Dear Deatheater,
No.
Sincerely
Moone~


Scathatch's Trance submitted this:
Dear Moone.
Am I crazy? Or am I not crazy? Or am I just Spiritual? Is this all real? Or just in my head? Is this just some insane dream? Or is my world a dream and this the truth? Tell me!!!


Dear Trance,
You are obviously agitated, dear heart. Sanity is overrate, enjoy all the lovely unpredictability of being a lunatic. There are so many more rules that apply to the sane, it's liberating to be a nutter. Embrace the dream as your reality and pray you never waken.
Sincerely
Moone~



From sweet Nellie we have:
Dear Moone,
Why does it seem so difficult to forget people or things from the past? Or is it not hard and I am just too sensitive or too nostalgic?


Dear Nellie,
Memory and nostalgia walk hand in hand throughout our lives. Embracing and learning from the past can help you to navigate your everyday circumstances. Acknowledging people and events from days gone by is important. But, never allow the specters from “then” to rule your “now.” Un-Moone like response; I know.
Sincerely
Moone~

Comments

This article does not have any comments.

Go Back to Articles

Go Back To Issue Overview