Mistic Pets

Welcome to Issue 36
Created by The Mistic Pets Team

4 Reasons to Fear the Pomme Tree
Written By Caustic

The Pomme Tree has long been a beloved icon of Mistica. It’s always ready and willing to give free food to hungry pets, so how could one possibly think anything of it but good? Well, it turns out you might want to watch your back next time you visit Darkwood Hollow…

It Can Sew
Okay, so this isn’t the most sinister of abilities, but it has some pretty awful implications if you think long enough. The perfect example of this is the Revelry Pomme, a brightly colored fruit that, somehow, drops off the tree wearing an entire outfit, jester-style tassels, bells and all.

Have you ever climbed up into the Pomme Tree to grab a particularly juicy looking Pomme? Well, I advise against that unless you want its branches to start sewing you into a cocoon from which there is no escape. And if the Revelry Pomme is any indication, you’ll be wrapped up in garish colors for all eternity because hey, a tree has to entertain itself somehow.

It Can Poison You
This is pretty obvious. Honestly, after the first Nuclear Pomme dropped from the Pomme Tree’s seemingly benign branches, I have no idea why Officer Coppa didn’t try to chop it down. But hey, you can always chuck that Nuclear, Toxic, Plague or Demon Pomme on the ground and come back another day, right? That is if your skin hasn’t absorbed the toxins already. But Baby pets don’t always have such common sense, so I can only assume the Pomme Tree is going after children first.

It Can Create Life
Who decided it was normal for a sentient, if not necessarily self-aware, pal to drop from a tree? And that it was okay to make that pal edible? Apparently it’s fine for the Pomme Tree, who can create such beings on a daily basis.

The tree has an assortment of adorable, harmless little pals like the Pommerainian, but that’s only so you lower your guard. Then you go back the next day and a horrible Nightmare Pomme drops on your head and you can’t sleep for a month! That thing has eyes and a mouth equipped with fangs, which it presumably uses to eat your face if you try to take a bite out of it. For now the Pomme Tree’s more sinister creations are small and easily avoidable, but who’s to say it’ll stay that way for long?

It Can Create Weapons
So far, the Pomme Tree has been found to be able to create an army of life forms and to outfit them with armor and chemical weapons. Holy Pandoria, how are Misticans even still alive right now?

It gets worse, of course. You can always punt a little Possessed Pomme across the room or dispose properly of a Nuclear Pomme, but the Pomme Tree has one more thing hidden in its branches: physical weapons.

Take a look at the Razor Pomme and tell me that’s not a blatant attempt to kill somebody. Even if you have to be pretty silly to eat a piece of fruit with razors sticking out of it, it means that the tree can mass produce dangerous objects. What’s to stop it from making something like a sword or crossbow? Absolutely nothing!

So the next time you go to pick your daily Pomme, I suggest going outfitted in full armor and HAZMAT gear while packing antidote. Or just stay home and prepare for a future in which all Misticans bow to the Pomme Tree Overlord.

Comments

Written By Flygon

Oh dear Pandoria, I never thought about the dangers of pommes. o-e Id better stock my selft with shields soon!

Go Back to Articles

Go Back To Issue Overview