Mistic Pets

Welcome to Issue 31
Created by The Mistic Pets Team

4 Shopkeepers Who Could Get You Killed
Written By Caustic

We all know that some of Mistica’s shopkeepers stock some rather shady items. Odd food is everywhere (a fly in an ice cube, Sebastion? Seriously?) and some of them, like Bruno, will sell outright dangerous stuff to anyone. However, a few of these shopkeepers take “future lawsuit” to a whole new level.

 

In no particular order, here are just four of the worst offenders in all of Mistica. Just walking in to some of these places could land you in the hospital, so take this as a warning!

 

1. Kyro of Flaming Treats

Spicy food is popular, and Kyro has the market cornered. What Inferno pet wouldn’t love to walk in and have their tongue singed by culinary creations such as the Flaming Hot Hotdog? Even the shelves here must be dangerous, as almost every single item is quite literally on fire! One misstep and your eyebrows will never be the same again.

 

2. Ben Baggz of Beanbag Bazaar

Soft, squishy and super comfortable, it’s hard to imagine the beanbag shop as anything but delightful. You could do a backflip with swords strapped to your feet and still have a safe landing! However, it’s the shopkeeper himself, not his products, that make this place a deathtrap. Ben has all sorts of pointy objects jutting out from his body, and with buttons for eyes, his depth perception can’t be too good. A simple handshake could result in gangrene and a robotic hand. Actually, you know what? I think I’m low on beanbags…

 

3. Clayton of Spooky Creations

Take a trip to the dismal Banshee Swamp and you’ll find all sorts of Misticans, from crazy to downright evil. Clayton’s food shop toes the line between the two, though we wouldn’t be surprised to find out the Haruba was insane, and his stock shows it. In fact, why hasn’t Officer Coppa arrested Clayton by now?! We know he’s busy tracking down zombies, but really, Clayton’s probably behind it all anyway. Spider pops with actual poisonous spiders right in the candy are really nothing more than attempted murder, and with two witches nearby, who knows what goes on there?

 

4. Zaffy

This Phelocan seems innocent enough, with a happy smile and bright feathers, but he’s really just trying to get us all killed. Taking home one of his pals means forfeiting any insurance you might have and ensuring that no one will ever visit you ever again. After all, this is a shop in which a radioactive bird is one of the tamest things you can buy.

 

And now that you’ve read this, we suggest tossing this article in a trash can and burning it. Shopkeepers don’t like a drop in business, and everyone listed here is just crazy enough to go after anyone exposed to the truth!

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