Mistic Pets

Welcome to Issue 27
Created by The Mistic Pets Team

Ask the September Moone
Written By Valkyrie

Ahhh, September. The morning air begins to show it's icy teeth now. Overhead, if you listen: you will hear the honking of geese headed for warmer climates. The trees are just beginning to show a glimpse of the fiery pageantry that will become a blaze of color up and down suburban streets. The week days have fallen silent, absent of the clamor that seems to follow chibis everywhere. 
I will be taking a hiatus next month and turning my Column over to one more suited to the spooky season ahead. 


SuperSheep's Ryu had this question: "How would you suggest I stop all the neighborhood baby pets from jumping in all the neat leaf piles in my large yard?" 

Dear Ryu,
I have it from a great source that Shifu traps work very well. So does letting your Lirionox peruse the yard after a big amount of kibble and cola. If all of that fails then hide yourself inside a tempting pile with an air horn and lay in wait for the little darlings to come capering by. 
Sincerely Moone~

From Tehphire & Daiquirii, "What are some relaxing ways to enjoy the fall season in Mistica?" 


Dear Daiquiri,
I would suggest hanging out around Ryu's yard. That should prove relaxing indeed. A walk through Darkwood Hollow at dusk is another way to relax. The trees there have just begun to put on their fall pagentry. If you wish to add a wonderful cardio exercise to your walk, hang a Cheese Burger from your back pocket. Fleeing from the hungry minions of Metaphic will keep your heart health at an all time high and you'll sleep like a baby when you get home. (if you manage to make it out unscathed).
Moone~



From Sunny and Blue we heard: 
Dear Moone,
I don't believe we've ever corresponded before but I have a question of super-extreme vital importance to ask you....
What be the best way to convert stubborn imps to sprites? There's this one I still have to work on *cough*V*cough*
Sincerely Blue (speaking for a stubborn sprite *cough*oppey*cough*)


Dear Blue, 
Everyone needs a walk on the wild side some times, without some kind of outlet you may find them covered in lime jello and barking at the moon (that's m-o-o-n, not me... Well, maybe me.) But, if you are determine to convert the unruly Imp, then consider abduction. Lock said unfortunate in a room full of sugar and spice and everything nice. Surrounded by rainbows (in a week or so) they will have either emerged with a hankering for sunshine and pink ponies, or have been reduced to a drooling, gibbering mess. Best of luck! (To both of you.)
Moone~


From Krystal: O Sacred Moone,
Is there anything new and exciting planned for Lanturnacht? ;D It's just around the corner~!

Dear Krystal,
While I would love to spill all (and I planned to) but I have looked over my shoulder and seen my Editor brandishing a muzzle. Thus, I will wisely remain silent. But, rest assured that Mistica will always deliver a season to remember! 
Moone~


Masterpiece: Dear Moone,
My pet Tarynne would like to know: I have a certain friend (/coughDancercough.) who won't get over her homesickness. be Thar any way (besides throttling) to snap her out of her funk? It seems I've tried everything.


Dear Tarynne, 
Stop fighting it, instead go with with it! Pick up brochures about home and place them where they will most likely be found- ie: her underwear drawer, inside a box of Zizzor O's, or my favorite - secreted inside a roll of toilet paper. Play home movies about home. Talk about it endlessly home, send her post cards from home. Just have fun with it! This will either spark a life long feud or burn it out of her or result in one of you being placed in the pound.
Moone~
P.S. I would sleep with one eye open for awhile after you launch your anti-homesick assault, if I were you.


Lullay queried: 
Dear Moone,
My nosy mericai, Little, was wondering what do you plan to do during your one month hiatus? Are you going on a cruise around Mistica? Spend your days watching Mistic soap operas? Go full out and train at the battle portal? Little must know. Else she'll never stop pestering me.

Dear Nosey Mericia,
If you must know, Moone is headed to the Mistical Phat Farm. Between working this column and a ravenous appetite for anything from the Village Bakery, I can no longer tie my own shoes and Valkyrie is getting tired of scratching my bum for me. Hope that answers your question.
Moone~


From the realm of Faerie: 
*A roll of parchment falls from the claws of a skillow flying over Moone's home. A rose red velvet ribbon be tied around it, the same color as many of the leaves outside*
Dear Moone,
I write to Ye now from a castle in the middle of a forest of Mistica! An owl Matey has agreed on delivering this to Ye and I just hope it will get to Ye as soon as possible. I know Ye'll write back saying maybe this be a better question for someone else, but a Matey recommended your sage advice.
Ye see, I am cursed to stay in this castle forever with a horrifying and terrible beast to save Me family. I'm only a young Lass and shouldn't have to go through with this! The funny thing be, I don't mind as much... because the Beast be actually really kind. I just want to know why he's keeping me here... What should I do? I can't run away, I can't find out why I'm to stay here, and I think I'm falling in lubb with a monster! Help?
Yours sincerely,
Beauty,
Mericai maiden lost in the woods


Dear Mericai maiden lost in the woods,
You are right, I am the wrong one to ask. I'm afraid that were our circumstances reversed I would be all over that like a swim suit one size to small. The Beast wouldn't stand a chance. Moone likey monsters! Give me a big, bad smelling, bad boy any day. *purrs* Do a sister a favor and ask him if he'd like to date a queen sized
frost Brea? *wink-wink*
Moone~



Some of Erizzle's crew felt like chiming in!
Drowsy Asks (Theoretically): Moone, what is the most charming facet of a pommekin?
Energize Asks: What is the meaning of life? I kid, I kid. (Not a question)
Florette Asks: What is the relative size of a pommekin, and how many pommekins tall are you?


Dear Drowsy, Energize, Anxious, Lucky and Florette,
Allow me to respond in kind:
(Theoretically) The most charming facet of a pommekin is: that you can wear one over your head, and run through the woods shrieking like a banshee with little to no actual damage to your person when you collide with a tree.
The meaning of life? Celery... I kid or do I?
What is the relative size of a pommekin and how many pommekins tall am I? Hmmm, after much consideration: I have no clue, that last trip running through the woods and screaming like a banshee, left me a little addled.
Moone~


King Nothing's Kratork asked: Why?


Dear Thorn in my backside, 
Because...
Moone~

Comments

Written By SuperSheep

Lol, Moone, you never fail to brighten my spirits~

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